The Risk to Blossom

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

                                                                            -- Anaïs Nin

Big changes are coming in my life. This is my last week at one of my two jobs, and next week I'm going to start grad school. I took this job intending to stay for six months. That was 27 months ago. I have been planning to go to grad school since I was an undergrad student, but things kept happening to change my plans, and I put it off and then put it off again. Staying at this job became safe and plunging into grad school became scary. I am happy that I was able to have this job - I've learned a lot and I've made good friends. But... I've known for a while that it is time for me to move on.

The unknown is frightening, though. I know what to expect in my current job, and with my two jobs on top of my husband's, we are ok financially. I don't know exactly what to expect in grad school, and losing one of my salaries is going to make money tight. In many ways it would be easier to stay where I am, in the safety and security of the known. But, I know this isn't where I am supposed to be anymore. There are many seasons in life, and this season in my life is almost over. It is time to take a leap of faith and move on.

I thought I would be scared, worried, and upset. I don't always adapt well to big changes. But, I'm excited. I feel that this is what God is calling me to do. I've been praying for trust... and I feel peaceful about my decision. It's scary, but it is exciting, which is what life is like. No life comes without conflict, and that is what makes it interesting (read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller to learn more about that concept). So now, it is time to get ready to blossom.